Archive for dream

what if I was a Dr.?

Posted in career, dreams with tags , , on May 27, 2018 by jengrabesculpture

If I was a Doctor what would I be doing? This is not the first time this idea has occurred to me. I had a dream about it years ago, that I still remember quite vividly. I was wearing a white coat and going from room to room examing patients with a team of nurses,  I was telling them what was to be done for the patient, most of the treatments that I recommended were with the use of natural remedies.  Strange that it wasn’t using allopathic medicine.  Maybe these were hopeless cases or maybe the treatment was simple enough that it could be used, or maybe the patients simply could not afford traditional medicine.  For whatever the reason, I had the answers, I knew how to diagnose and I recommended the remedy. That is a good feeling to be respected. It’s also a good feeling to have useful information that can help someone or possibly save their life. Some of these patients had bedsores so deep that you could see their bone.  I was a compassionate caregiver in my dream.

Along the same lines of helping someone in a medical capacity I had thought about having a Doctoral in Education and worked as a research assistant for a time. That one experience changed my mind about doing doctoral research because of the exhausting process of helping someone else achieve their dream, I didn’t have the strength to do it for myself.

Other times I have been approached by someone in private and asked for counsel. So these experiences made me think I might like being a Psychiatrist. I was beside myself to give any tangible advice to anyone at the time. It always seems to me that it was just at that moment a perfect stranger trusted me enough to share a confidence. It happened so much that I thought hey I should be getting paid for this!  Once again I had the remedy, even though I wasn’t aware. I don’t feel I would be much help to a person who was terribly sick however, like someone with an aberrant behavior problem. I will leave that level of abnormal psychology to the forensic experts.

At the heart of what each human needs is just someone to listen. Someone to withhold judgment for a moment and let them just share what is on their heart. This is a very difficult thing to do because if we feel uncomfortable we want to say or do something to exit the conversation. If however, we do stay and try not to solve the problem for them, something very significant happens. They find a solution themselves. We can ask a series of questions that can be helpful to guide them but ultimately it is their decision which direction they want to take with their problem. We can help them isolate the feeling and feel it for that 50 minutes in conversation.

Being a classroom teacher for ESL has brought me into some very deep discussions with my students. What can start out as general topics for discussion in the thought process of opening up can trigger some memories that people have remained closed up about. So, we cannot predict what people might say when we invite or give them the opportunity to say whats on their mind.

At present, I don’t have the answer for what kind of Dr. I would be. What I do know is that I have the desire, whether I have the steam or not to do it? That  is a mystery.blog

inside me is a Lady

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on September 20, 2012 by jengrabesculpture

Dream  09/09/2012
I dreamed that I had come on a long journey across difficult terrain with  a very close  friend.  After a while we came to a green meadow and into a small town in the country. While visiting in this town there were some attractions. As we wandered around the town it felt as if my friend and I were  being followed. A local policeman in the town kept a sharp eye on us finally stopping to question us.  Since there seemed to be so few visitors we kept getting singled out. What were we doing there? We were laughing to ourselves cause we kept wondering why was he picking us out? There were’nt that many people so naturally not being local we attracted some attention. Not wanting any trouble  we left there ,it would be better to not hang around, even though there was no reason we should be harassed.  

We made our way across some rugged terrain. Coming to a watery plain we laughed and enjoyed the thought that we could manage the walk but the terrain got steadily more rough. We came across  a hot springs where there was a man bathing in one of the pools. The  steam rose from the heated mucky ground. We continued walking across slippery rocks of shallow pools of cool water.  I made my way across an amber  field until we came to a grand estate. It felt as if we were crashing a wedding, cars were lined up outside the estate.  I  followed my traveling companion through an opened second story door.  He says: ” I got you in the door. You will have to get in the rest of the way. Your on your own now.” He  left me there, dangling out of the door struggling to find something to pull on but I was going to fall. I had to get in quickly before I would be seen.
Below was a group of men , including security who were milling around and I was in trouble I had to get up on the ledge and get in to safety before those men saw me and reported me. I had to look like I belonged there.
I was crying to myself softly and struggling, then I realized that if I just relax and lay flat  I could manage to pull myself on to the floor and  in off the ledge. I then closed the door quietly entering the room and pulled myself together. There were  ladies milling around struggling to get into dressing gowns.  No one seemed to notice how I got in or that I was there.  An older gentleman recognized that I was not part of the wedding party and came to my aid, brought me a cup of tea to calm me down. Walked me around to a well-lit area.  Chandeliers sparkled across the shiny marble floors. Candles and glasses tinkling where there was preparation taking place for the wedding.  I recognized an old rival of mine came into the room  dressed for her party.  She looked beautiful and I told her so. My elderly gentleman escort was walking me past a room where the door was open and I saw my traveling companion with another male friend in a spa like room relaxing. I felt safe and protected there. I calmed down, I was now a different woman, a gentile and composed Lady.

I followed the tragic path into the shadow

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 16, 2012 by jengrabesculpture

Considering a human life today.  One that had a traumatic start abandoned by parents to live far from family.  A deep inward pain that caused crying for days upon end.  Settled into a life as a child in the country. When meeting this adult there was something  unsettling and disturbing about them. Searching and reaching for the stars. There has to be more to life than this.  Loved by family but letting so few in. The deep horrible stain left by a predator, the scarlet letter of shame . All can identify with this character who died so young so tragically.  Finally coming to terms and finding an inner peace after years of feeling so alone.  Death came so quickly after delivery from torment.  To be loved by so many and yet not to feel that love, only shadows. To dance, to dream, to feel, and finally find peace.

Is this your new site? Log in to activate admin features and dismiss this message
Log In