3:03 AM
I awaken. The fan overhead sweeps air across my sore body from the work out I put it through. I light two candles and run the water as hot as I can stand it into the bath. I ease into the tub and let the hot water soak out the soreness as I lay back. Sleep won’t come without it. I let out some of the water and sit in the tub as the air cools the top half of my body . I get out and pat myself dry and back to my studio. Paint smells. I turn on the light, ” I ‘ve got to finish that painting,” I say to myself. The emotion is neatly packed away in a hermetically sealed jar. As I open it and smell it, everything comes back, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feeling. How is it that I can still stay so tied to my core? All that emotion flows into the stream of paint. I don’t have to feel it anymore, it’s all transferred into the alloys and minerals, light and shadow. Transferred but not forgotten. The sound of the 5:00 am train is roaring past. Rinse out brushes in the paint thinner. Eyes getting sleepy now. Would be nice to save the money and take a train ride. I haven’t been on a train in years. I remember I was in my twenties and it was New Years Eve in South Holyoke Mass…drifting at 3:00 AM
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